Haplessness

-/|\–|—/|\
|—|-/H\-|-/a\-|-/p\-|-/l\-|-/e\-|-/s\-|-/s\-|-/n\-|-/e\-|-/s\-|-/s\-|—|
/|\—|–/|\-
……………………………………………….
|Deserted, but haplessly cast from the heavenly blissed,
|Confound, the wintered sands, whist the shrouding mist.,
|Conflicted, the whims of time, found guilty, though sinless…
……………………………………………………
|T|3|T|
…………………………………………………….
|I am lost, and I cannot be found;
|So I say, come to me, befound this bewilderment…,
|Come to me, in all of the glorious splendour…
…………………………………………………….
|I|T|I|
……………………………………………………..
|Disglorious, the unreachable, the unattainable salvation…,
|Harrowed, how’t despairing, mine essence and very soul tremble.,
|In rage, in spite; in hatred and might – yearning evermore, for reversion…
………………………………………………………………….
|3|I|3|
…………………………………………………………..
|Beckoned only by the grandest inquisitor, drowned into silence,
|The antithesis, the iniquitous perdition…the lonesome abyss.,
|Tid’ the semblance of grace, bereaved, the sound of joy, robbed, never reprieved…
……………………………………………………………………….
I|G|T
………………………………………………………………..
|Enveloped by the cold shadows, and consumed by the darkness so revelled,
|I am… Reprobation.  I am the supplanted, and never the uprooted.,
|I am the voiceless oblivion, and I am the immutable presence…
|We are… The Desolate., and we are the crying abyss, torn this…,
|We are the reprimanded, for we always were, the longed hand of unreason.
…………………………………………………………………
3|C|3
………………………………………………………………………
|For this interpretation is twisted, the envisaged doctrine, unholy and deceptive,
|Why? But why am I so far away, astray the gift of life?
|Why am I so untellingly begotten to forlorner condemnation?
|Tided the absence of light, doomed beyond the burning night?
|My story unending in its’ sorrowful farewelling…,
|Damnation, lamenting, in languished horror., of we, the crying abyss…
……………………………………………………………..
I|N|R|I
…………………………………………………………..
|For you shall live to see the day of glory, and life eternal,
|And I, doomed to quietus, in torments unseen, unheard and amassed.,
|Spake, these scribed words of wisdom, for your sake – unforsaken…,
|Wilt – that you are not forgotten, your blessing torn to revocation…
|And your name erased from the Lamb’s Book of Life, eternal…,
|Amongst the holiest twenty-four, amidst the walking Glorior…
|Whilst I remain, alone and forgotten, embraced forever, by starker consequence.
……………………………………………………………………….

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Of these, of you…

Of the most intricate delicacy, of the most vibrant febricity,
Behold you were borne in oaken olive oil, we wept you in gravest contempt…

Of these feelings, the profoundest is despair,
So fulfilling in its sweetly depraved emptiness,
In its sorrowful embrace: a lamenting embrasure so involute…
To long is to aspire, to aspire is to inspire others to do the same:
…know none are alone in their pains and stressing tomorrows,
For all are of unequaled antithesis to antiquated meaninglessness.

The emptiness we feel is of essence to what is definitively ascribed ‘longing.’  
We long for more, we yearn for adjourned mourning…we detest in bravest contest,
We strive with unbridling stride,
…and we conceivably dream to perceivably gleam,

But desolating hymns of orating calamity for vengeful verses,
…of contemptuous futility – of dualistic forbearance and foreboding tragedy…

Forsakenly begotten to the wind’s timeless dust,
Within empty nothingness, eternally condemned to a place so malcontent,
Of blissful obscurity and ignorant insecurity;
Behold, of these holy things, of your seditious pleas,
We implore esoteric secrecies, for reasons of ruinous vermination,
Upon altars of supremacist insatiability,

To the edges, and to the brink of unfound heresy…

From the precipice of unsound glory, of reprise and demise,

Of succession and incessant uprising, for which damnation has no history,
But the bleakly foretold sum of yesterday and tomorrow –
Where the morning mist dews not,
…and where vultures sing songs of haughty vehemence,

To determinacy and vociferously capricious lunacy…from floodgates long unfounded,
To the kingdoms far beyond the forest horizons, whence the sun sets naught,
But for eternity, midnight cloaks all of existence’s cold winter-moons,
Where defeatist sorrow doth lament,
And the deathless surely propagate…deplore this place,

Disgrace of me with miasmic distaste…
For the disastrous reckoning that is to come,
Will no more the likely be undone, as the abominably uncreated loathe…,
With rivalrous liturgy and resurged reprobation,
Where the fornicated are no more the less liberated,
Within diplomacy and supremacy…
Comes the eminent insurrection, the grandest of rebellions…
…the day of absolute resurgency for a world filled with so much uncertainty…

This is a place of negated demoralization, where defeat is only matched.,
But by conquering victory– of forfeiture and hapless finality,
Of dismal gleams so atavistic,
Where we contrite the dreaded outcomes of failures so delightful,

…of desire so delectable…refraction of the paradigm,
A retraction of the supposition…,

So rapidly abstract, so revealingly grotesque,
…in its inglorious splendor and blackened resplendence…

Of unreality, so surrealistically unflattering, a triad of shifting contextures,
Of schooling conjectures, a maddening whisper so horribly redeemed,
By faceless horrors of unknowable contortion – with notion of motioned decadence,
With facets of fireless torments…of these, of this – of you and of us,

We are forever ridden with cursed unreachability, of hourly remembrance,
Of that past so hauntingly harrowing, with waning immutability…
Stripped of all pride, f
ar removed from the tide – hopelessness endures here,

Viscerally retaliatory, for the miserably flagellated.,
…and defamatorily ripened facets of darkness undone in depletion,. 

And light interceding without willowed or returned commission.,
of succulent intermissions,
so abrasively lost within loneliness so solemn,
forged with fire, blood and iniquity –
inflammatorily receded,
to the enormously conflicting, and engramic aspectual enigma,

Of infusion so cohort with twistedly villainous melodies of
Voraciously dissuaded frailties, s
o ravishingly demanding,
For recanting a rekindling depth of fallen regret,
…so surfaced with commutability, and unvoiced regression.

Sorrow overwhelming me, these feelings leading me…,
To derelict I am but forsaken, and alone, solemnly, eternally –
…and though the senseless despair rings cold within,
The whispering winds,
there is reassurance,
A sparkling sense of comfort with the dark,

And its most formless macabre embrace…
For within this gloomily darkened embrasure…,

A bond so binding is forlornly doomed bounding, with appraised reaffirmation,
…and unheard vociferous attest, a harkening trumped is sound – so harrowing,
Is the resonance of this reverberating sensation…
Rising forth from the marbled floor,
M
anifesting, into personhood –
Replicating ghastly within engrossed malformation, and reputed fating…

Reminiscence

To long eternally in foreboding forfeiture is to relive a day so darkly condemned,
As though deathlessly reprimanded,

…unto fields of golden dreams and burning grandeur.
For you are too close, though, also…
Too far away to touch: I cannot reach your hand,
I wish you to know the abyss wilt always embrace

Mine empty and cold presence of soul,
…for there is nothing but dispiriting oration,
In this flooding wake of bloodied remembrance and consuming tastelessness.

I’m being enveloped, by a hand so faintly unkind, by a face so blindly malformed,
and I’m brought to a place so abstractly voided in cold forlorn. 

There is no light here, nothing but a flickering essence – a flame, a resurgence,
…never heightened to new consciousness,
Though always suffocated with depthless moonlight.,

Hereto I am forever condemned to a place of damnation and destined reprobation. 

Herein, I am falling, eternally and infinitely…
With no walls, and no spiraling wales –
…nothing but formlessness and inexistent nothingness surround me,

…a place of shapeless immortality, forsakenly,
I am befouled in my encapsulation
By the lightless abyss of dimming hope, and midnight eclipse;

…whereto the only sounds heard are of serpents waning, and children,
Contemptuously fating,
…in disingenuous infamy,
With inexpressible antipathy, morbid smiles,
and widening eyes

…of glazing sadism glaring unendingly, admiring,
…and adorning my unthinkable suffering.

All that is seen are skies fleeting from light, love and – joy,
where all good things are fled away,

…and all wickedness and deviltry cometh with ensuing fires
of tormenting finality,
…endlessly anguished and defamed,
in this harrowing place of abhorred discordance,

…knowing never redemption, freedom from this darkening reprisal,
…nor haven from these eternal monoliths of quenchless torments.

Within this profoundest madness,
I profess to the contest of the saddest esotericism;
to this evocative gesture, to that inglorious sentiment,
The moon, the stars I swear to you – beauty once beheld.

A beauty once beheld, within a place of smoldering desolation,
A ruinous vocation of caressed sublimation, so curiously sinister,
…a sickly pane of pale tapestry…beholden, this place…
Where darkness once fled to from god’s good grace – since awakened,
And now thundered abroad…vast sceneries of eerie contemporaries,
So soured by inalienable revelry – rivaled by none,
Equaled by one, such is the story of symmetry.

Understand, from the beginning,
And to the end…that one was always two,
…and two always triune; now understand,
That you will never comprehend of the mysteries
…of eons age of old – of iniquity plundered,
And antiquity conquered by the crowning entwinement,
Of embrasures conjoined in unsound confound,
With unversed multiplicity, and traversed disequilibrium…
…rapturously beheld, this awing absolution,
So tragically fallen – thus the tree of duality breathes no more,
Our creator – but a myth, now adorned, and until unison finds oneness,
We shall never adjourn to the tragedy of the forlornly…,
Begotten…of a beauty shone once, and then insolubly,
Lost, now but a dream, an…idealism once beheld.

Fade

It’s odd to me, to see you all despairing over me in such discomforting secrecy;
Do you not understand, that even in this dread, I am at my best,
I’ll be happiest when I’m dead?
I ask of thee, please let me go…
Let me fade away into the obscurity of nothingness,
let me die – I entreatingly beg of you…

I am not long for this place, this state of such miserable disgrace;
I am bewildered within this desolation that endlessly drowns my mind,
So let me go, so all will be better – will not you,
The world and others feel all the better with the bitter sweetness of victory,
…and negated disarray; depraved, though succeeded,
Relinquished, though necessitated…with the releasing of mine essence in whole,
Fly free my soul, leave and forever let go of my meaningless loss.

Protected: The Sadness Experience

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The Enchantment

The enchanting,
 The romancing,
The consuming,
 The All-Renewing,
O’ Darkness, beloved one;
 How’t is your essence?  So Abstract, and filled with renaissance…
That old antiquation, that beautifully held contemptment;
 Behold, the everlasting!
Glorior, the darkness lives on!
 Foreverly, the Great Dualism doth endureth!

This protruding evil,
 This foreboding presence,
The Darker the Essence,
 The Starker the Consequence;
Tided, by this harsher quintessence,
 Surmised, the unconveyable nihilist,
Tirade, this resplendence,
For on the seventh day, he rested,
…and but leaves us with the paradigm shifting…,
Of our own situations, to be baffled by our own damned circumstances;

 Reverse the role, parade the terrible,
The paradigm shifts, so for us there is a fix;

Emptiness

The Echoing Dread…
Resonating…, within this prison, aloof mine head;
Hereto, farther they stray away from mine reach…
Fore-this, the painful bereavement, of the reaching estrangement;

Beheld, did I, the last remnant of the falling sky…and thought impossible, the inescapable form which confound our meddling spirits, kindles…stringing further thataway…and I envisaged the sight so horrific, palest to mine eyes, and sobbing countenance, this sight so extreme – a sight so surreal…and on that day, that hauntingly dark, and harrowest day, the starkest edacity occurred…

Bewept, the sorrow raining down, torrential, the waves tided twine heartache; the despairing truth, the bleakest realism, actualized, never beautified, but absolute…the heavens fell, beholden, this’t I did see., and with vague recollection, I still so abstractly see – the agonising reprisal, unrepentant, merciless, and lightless.

Behold, I saw the twinkling antiquity fall, felled like the great north star – the shining one, desolated and brought down, lowly…only to be let down, imminence, tastelessly the vultures preyed; decadence…eminence, wrought forth, uprooted, in justified indignation, time morrow’d nevermore, left to wallow, sorrow’d, as before, the darkless borrow – the esteemed and kingly, the upright and highly-statured, like oceanic waves, the kings came crashing down…,

Where are thou heavens now, so said the flickering light incandescent in that darkness, of that darkest night, so spoke He, the second glory, as I recall…, the kingdom fallen, enwreathed in flames, enshrouded in brimstone and sulphurous smoke, the imprudence felt, the abhorred faces so deformed in mangled churning, but burning this instant, tarnished – no longer bestowed the first glory’s endowed brilliance, of immortality, infinity and perfection.

  So then, came the throne, riding the lightning streaking across the falling heavens, the cosmos colliding, the fervent essence – the atmosphere so quaint, quickened to faint, gored to such fated, and unchallengeable, but unimaginable hate: and so, the throne roared of thunder, foreverly falling, though instantaneous, to see the radiance, so brilliantly shone – but one last time., before the ending, cometh undone;

How’t, terrible the sight, a single sobbing tear, falling from his precious countenance, his face unseen, his glory tearlessly daunted, below the burning oblivion, hitherto the smoky abyss, blissless, that olden place of graven torment., in that moment, in the second ones’ great arrogance, came a grandest befalling, wheres’t hindered we all were, forced to our knees, shamefully brought to the marbled floor…trying as we might, our wills be not enough to lift our shallowly-fouled heads…,

Beit the inescapable light penetrated, but protruded our very souls – venerating our treacherous cores’ – ‘til last, we were loosed, but freed, for but a moment, a briefest season – under the mourning sun, the first begot the second, and thusly conjoined this conjectured immeasurability, the infiniteless beauty; yea, so shaken by the blight of that ever-cursed light, of the highest one, conquering the fallen, of us…reigning supremely, forevermore, eternally.

  Knowing this doom, wistfully unattainable, the unreachable salvation, the slipping grasp – of chancing cancellation…reprobated, condemned and but damned, to that place named Gehenna, that place of tormenting relentlessness, our final resting place; bewildered, and shone but none, voided to the absolutist negation, of the voiding abyss – forever lightless, how reachless…and hopeless the lost concept of hope, and mentioning of faith…,

The damnation eternalising, the circumstance agonising! There is no leaving this place, for we all belong here, in our disgrace – fallen this far from grace., forever subject to the wallowing of this abandoned and hapless emptiness, faithlessly forlorn to the unattainable sight of his personified grace,.

Where hellfire and nothingness embrace thee everly, and eternally, hopeless the battered reality, so darkly reminiscent of our crimes so atrocious, and our deeds so voraciously contemptuous with cruelty-begotten evil., borne from light, felled to darkness. 

We belong here, inescapably, forevermore, until His word comes to pass, and our moored are at last, allotted death, through holiest mercy, gifted death, narrowing, the escaping semblance of light, bequeathed this night, nothingness, wedded, with lasting breath, the torment unenduring, lest his mercy cometh again to us, as appealed in courtside dogma, a peace adjourned…

Beholden, stricken by painful remembrance, of unconveyable reminiscence, that face, but so distanced…the day fast approaching, the ending nearing, and the felt reality of damnation, narrowing…

Timeless passion, forgotten, the recollection – hopeless the struggle, futile the rubble of glory; brought down to defeatism, through venture of this desolate landscape, wheres’t deathless conceded to restlessness, such bore the endless prism…

What, and where to now?  To what ends, and by what means, shall the foretold come? 

The confliction, inner-exerting, the effortless surrendering, to dualistic facets, so awry in contorted trouble…the powers clash in glorious battle, only to be broken by oneself, for immortality holds but one curse – the longingly dreadsome unknown.

A war fought for eons passed, an eternity, with battles bled dry, where-from, no voice was left to cry; so beit, the powers live, and breathe the flames of absolute distrainment, through the glossy nostrils, fuelled by hatred, unwanted. 

Afire, the surrendered eternity’s struggled nature, never abound the precipice, seeming never found, the edgeless horizons, upon’st the directionless – veering helpless, outwardly, expanded, evermore…to time’s great place of death-found mourn., classically, the ecstasy of tasteless fruits…,

From this forbidden root, befouled was our kind, for prideful nature, and arrogance embedded entwined, among the deceived mind, where then only confusion and deceptive tongue live to tell – of tales lost, to dark and light, twilight’s farewell…

Discernment knows not the actuated path, that lead not to condemnation and death, but life and blissed inheritance, for which star shines most profoundly, for which is seen, all-so brightly?

One of infinity is the god theory, but which star is unbecoming the semblance of remnant, how bleakly foretelling, the happed farewelling, so terribly welcoming, the abyss’s gaze, with arms wide open, how compelling…