|Love … Death|

Fall to that desecrated ground, and let it be consecrated by his hands, by his will, and in his namesake…
And on that day, every knee bent, and on that day, every countenance failed, and on that day, fear unparalleled, indwelled the spirits of men.
If but one prayer would be answered, I’d ask my reluctance to life be lifted, and the veil of death, be opened… I’d ask thee to take me, to receive me beforehand, my beloveds…
I cannot bear the thought of witnessing those I care about, so inexpressibly, bewept and awash, into death and loftless loss.
I cannot even by your hands, but by your commendation, withstand the heartache which ensues and follows the bleak misfortune that is death, nor can I implore thee enough, to let them outlast me, and mine essence, in this life. 
If you will allot me but one mercy, let it be — death takes me, before it does them; let it be, death consumes me, instead of them; let it be, death becomes me, if arises the circumstance.
Oh how I thought that star was lesser…,
Knowing now, I was not the wiser…,
The sorrow seems inexorable to and from my being…if only the emptiness could be stripped away, how then the longing would lead to disarray…
My love for my parents is inexpressibly great, so much, that it hurts, and painfully wanes and tears at my soul…
I feel so lost, and so incomplete, I feel hopeless, useless and beyond brokenness.  I am the bane of my family, I am that which weighs them down, I am not the solution, I am the problem…

The Maturing Darkness

Hate is inexorable; once it consumes you, it becomes you.
There, deep within the reignless night, I seek solace, and solution, to this barren fright.
Here, felling deeper, the delving deeply, creepily crawling, honed to awing testament, where the cries are forever lit – aflame, lamenting, wallowing and crying…for remand, for salvation, for but soughten freedom from saddened reprobation, and redemption from the seditions so iniquitous…, whereto the sorrow is harrower, and the morrow forevermore ghastly, to the ever-hallowed tomorrows, how harmonic… 

Where, sovereignless, the quintessence of the serpent’s embrace, crowned, affront the frowned countenance, where contemplating the futile pursuit, there ventured, upon the precipice of deadening minds, deafening ears, and blinded eyes…, formless, these shadows, nearer to the antiquating reality of wept meadows, filled with berated sorrows, inexorable, insatiable, the blooming blight, of vastness and tarred remembrance, inadequately–depthless, measureless and weightless…to this, the aboriginal antiquation, distraught and dismayed — to the surreal glimpse of the wistful existence…of tomorrow and eternity more…, amongst and upon’st the greater of us…the meeker, the broker, the haplessly desolated, in spirit, fleshless, and orated, to’ist the paining ordained.

The Objectification of Reason

Know you pain, know you suffering?
Lovers of light have no conceivability of pain, for they are secured in the loving waters of rebored salvation…only that broken, defeated and desolate lover of darkness knows true suffering, only that darkened spirit, of forlorn essence can comprehend the emptiness of lonesome dread…

Curse the lavish lover of life
The worst part, is when that cruelty begets evil, and succeeds…bearing forth wealth, beautiful family, health and prosperity, fame and gratitude…never famished, nor tried, having only fulfilment in their life — even after breaking and ruinously desolating another person, effectively forfeiting their life, plans, futures and opportunities…as robbing the opportunities, stricken hopeless and joyless, with grim permanence…

Tell me, wiser one…
What fairness, or proverbial reasoning is there for such absolute, and negated bleakness?  What kind, or form and semblance of an omniscient and altruistically benevolent god allows evil such flourishing, under ravishingly darkened skies…of weepingly and wearingly distraught inhabitancy?  The creator, how redound; the aboriginal thinker…allows such lamenting and sorrowful existence to flourish?  Gives evil such opportunities?  Why does death exist, having graven principality and boundless authority?  Decadence and dismay, entropy and decay…they reign unimaginable suffering always and forever, ceaselessly, without hope of remand, or reprieve. 

The unconveyable…, the irreceivable…
The depths of such absolute despair: thus laying waste to the spirit, the soul and the flesh…rejection, denial, betrayal and longing…these are the cornerstones of the foundation of misery, ov existence: these are the hallmarks of reprobation, unending…the indeterminable borrow of such unprecedented sorrow, of such lowly defeating malcontent, dissidence and wistful inheritance…there is no hell like this, the suffered so greatly magnificent, thus laid waste to mine dormant soul.  This estrangement, how bereaved; un-reprieved, the fallen fate, the cast ways’, the exiled defeat…theirs is the kingdom of sorrow, eternal…no greater pain exists, than that of the fallen, and desolated ones’.

What do we do?  How is such dealt?
With much repetition and reportorial ceaselessness, of un-acquitted and cyclic tomorrow’s…there is no future, no hope for tomorrow, and no sense or purpose to being, yet…we dread on, we concertedly press on, further, without contestable reason, without purposed quintessence…we live, suffer unto death, and die.  Life is the greatest natural depressant, and death, the most effectual antidepressant, though, and how no matter, the timeless antiquation, resplendent, quaintly stark, immutably, and damming, dimmingly, how faintly dark, this senseless serenade…

This, is that – Bridge so hapless…
The voiding emptiness weighs so heavily upon my soul…no matter the distance stowed…the coldest fog abhors this moor; darkness consumed the crying rivers around me…adrift, drifting longingly downward the endless streams…connectedness is torn, convergence inexistent, and harrowing absence pales this defeatingly broken foe…  So bleak the mistaken haplessness of this toll…waned, alone amidst solemnly brazen toil…  Pay attention to that brooding bush, where’st rooted to the grandest source, the only resource…the tree of life.